I am convinced there are voices in my head. I mean, not like actual VOICES VOICES.
Anytime I try to make an important decision I can’t seem to land. I question my ability to make an actual decision that will benefit me. I worry about everybody else. I worry who will be happy who will not be happy. I wonder if I’ll ever be happy. I hate this about myself.Is it because I made so many bad decisions in the past? Am I looking back and I judging the things I’ve done, the things I’ve said, the people I’ve spoken to, the people I never got a chance to speak to, ALL OF IT. Craziness. Pure craziness.
Happy. Everyone talks about being happy. And what exactly IS happy? Happy seems to be circumstantial. If that is the case and I don’t get to be happy is that OK? Then we fall into the whole aspect of joy. Do you get to actually just CHOOSE joy regardless of circumstantial happiness. Mind boggling people. Mind boggling.
Bottom line? I can’t seem to trust myself. And if my faith is so huge why can I seem to trust that either?
Often I just wish that I did not think so much. There are thinkers and there are doers. Doers seem much happier. They easily make a decision and go for it. They don’t dwell on it. They don’t hardly second-guess themselves. They don’t weigh every single option to make sure that they’re doing the right thing. They don’t analyze the affect their decision might have on the universe. They just do. Such great freedom that.
Lisa,
I empathize with your thoughts. You express things that I live with and experience as well.
Thank you for being willing to share your life with us. May the Lord give you rest in Him!
Blessings!
thank you for being here. for reading. for encouraging!
I hear you. (pun completely intended!) I have voices in my head, too. They’re the reason I stayed up until almost 1am last night when I planned on going to bed at 9:30. My brain would. not. shut. off, so I stayed up and wrote. I wrote about how I may have overcommitted myself this school year, which is something I’m usually good at *not* doing. I also wrote how I need to listen to the chemicals in my brain to keep them in balance. Like I told my husband the other day, my brain is an interesting place to be.
What I’m good at doing is thinking and planning and making decisions…but not acting on any of it. I agree with you…the doers seem much happier.
I think what I’m trying to say is that you’re not the only one who lives inside their mind. While I sometimes have to force my brain to shut the %^*# up, I’m usually ok with the voices in my head. It’s the way God made me and if I believe that God doesn’t make mistakes, then I have to believe that my voices are useful in some way.
i LOVE your perspective. and you. thank you 🙂 xoxoxo
Such a great post. I have a very difficult time being still. I did buy the journaling Bible that you shared and while my drawings and thoughts won’t compare to yours I know that it is going to be a great Bible to be able to actually use as a journal as well. I love how God uses others to inspire us and He definitely used you when you shared the Bible your kids got you.
I read Oswald Chambers today as well and the selection I read was about being still and I know that that is my number one issue—I let too many other things cloud my head and take over. So that is my new goal. Be still. Just like you I need to listen and be aware . Thanks for sharing the hard posts with us . 🙂
thank you. you totally encouraged me. and remember…that Bible is for YOU. no one else. no comparisons. it’s your thoughts. what you are focusing on. and THAT is a beautiful thing.
Of course you are right about that. Thank you for reminding me that it is what I am to be focusing on that is important. 🙂
I get it! I wake up during the night and my mind starts racing right away. I am trying to figure out how to be still and listen to God…how does one do that? For the last couple of weeks I have tried something new….when I wake up in the middle of the night, I pray. I was brought up to read the bible, but not write in it. I love how that has changed! My bible is full of notes and highlighting etc.
Thanks for sharing your heart with us 🙂
of course! thank you for reading 🙂
Voices. And music. I have music in my head. And if I’m careful, I can learn things about myself simply by listening to the music. If I’m upset, the music is frantic. Sometimes, when danger is nearby, I’ll find the soundtrack in my mind is playing goofy music from old scary movies. Oftentimes, my fingers will be playing a piano {that isn’t there} along to the music}. I’m not often aware of it, I’ve been told by those who find it annoying. And some who find it endearing. So yes, voices. Music. Absolutely normal. Isnt’ it??? You are so special and I’m thankful for an internet that allows me a glimpse into your life, your head 🙂 and your thoughts!
I love that. Music speaks to our souls…does it not? And you are totally normal. As normal as me. 🙂 so comforting. love you internet friend!