Today’s Tuesday Tell is devoted to my mom.
Her health is failing and I’m spending a large part of every day sitting by her bedside for several hours. This made me think of all the things she loves and I thought I would share them with you.
What my mom most loved to read?
Cookbooks. My mom was an EXCELLENT cook, even though she didn’t hardly cook at all in the last decade (or two) I mean she kind of earned it, she still loved perusing cookbooks. Taste of Home is one of her favorites. And to be honest I still use several recipes from those cookbooks. You can find most of them online now…click here…and honestly, they are real tried and true recipes. Mostly ones for true comfort food. Check it out.
What my mom loved to do the most.
Socializing. It was her gift lol. She loved going out to eat, but it wasn’t about the food. She connected with the servers. She loved them. She and my dad would frequent the same restaurants often and the staff all knew…and loved…them. She would find out about their lives, their families. She truly cared about them. Even in her rehab and subsequent nursing care, they all love her. She always makes a concerted effort to know about them. People gravitate to her. And if she meets you once, she will figure out who your family is, how you might be connected and she never ever forgets a name. A crazy gift I did not inherit!
What my mom loved to drink.
Chardonnay. With ice. Although I do love my wine, chardonnay is NOT my favorite. But she loved it. It was also one of the worst things for her health, but that’s another story! She always had to have ice. She didn’t care about brands or vintages, just that it was Chardonnay.
What my mom loved to do.
This is more of a what couldn’t my mom do. She always had different hobbies. Sewing. Toll painting. Flower arranging. Even golf. Anything she tried she did really well. Her dad, my grandfather, was an artist. A textile designer in New York City, a chalk artist, a photographer. It’s where all my gifts and talents came from. I didn’t know him. He died when I was 4 months old. But that gift was definitely in my mom too. I’m sure she could have done great art had she wanted to. She is so creative. But one thing I remember her doing almost every single night was iron. Iron! For real. She would stand by that ironing board in our family room while we watched TV. She really loved it and she ironed EVERYTHING. Another love I did NOT inherit!
Where my mom loved to go.
My parents were blessed to be able to travel. A lot. They went EVERYwhere. But one of her favorite places in the last decade was Fort Lauderdale. They bought a condo there when I was in Jr. High. In the beginning, we would go for Spring Break, maybe during the summer for a week or so, but in the last decade they began spending their entire winters there and they LOVED it. She hates being cold and the Florida sun was what she craved. They went with their best friends and had so many other people there they loved. Days spent lounging at the pool or beach. Dinners with friends. Breakfast out. ALWAYS. Some of my best memories are at that condo. As a child. A teen. An adult. With my own kids. It was her happy place.
Yesterday my mom told me she feels like crap and like my dad says, aging is really hard. You wouldn’t recognize my mom today. She was always so active. Usually, a step ahead of herself, which caused her to fall a lot in the last couple of years. Always in a hurry to get to the next thing! Such a spitfire!
I know not everyone has a great mom experience. But for me. My mom was in love with me from the moment she knew she was expecting me nine years after her last. After one daughter and three boys, she and my dad really wanted another girl. I wasn’t always the daughter they expected. #understatement I certainly tried every ounce of their patience and love! (See spitfire above) But, there was love. Always so much love.
So as I sit by her bed as much as I can every day I’m taking a step back from working and promoting. I’m still working…always working, it’s just not my first priority. So please be patient with me!
And if you can… even if it is not easy…hug your mom, call your mom…do whatever it takes.
They truly are our first loves. They are not perfect. I know that as a mom myself. All the mistakes I have made with my own kids. We do the best we can. There really are no true instruction books for parenting. But wow do we love those small people entrusted into our care…as tiny babes and full-grown adults. Love. It’s the basis for everything is it not?
Thank you. For reading this special edition. YOU are loved.